Saturday, May 19, 2007

Decisions, Decisions...





I hate making them. I am kind of a go with the flow, do whatever sort of girl, unless I have a particular craving. I love it when my friends pick where to eat, what movie to see, what game to play...I prefer to just go along for the ride. It is kind of embarrassing, but sometimes the smallest decision can stress me out, especially if I'm tired, and the big ones just completely overwhelm me. I am thankful, however, that whenever those big decisions arise, God is always faithful to guide me, and gave me and incredible husband to make hard decisions with.

All that to say, I have been praying about a huge decision since last fall--whether or not to work full-time next year. Financially, it made sense for me to keep working full-time until we had kids. But schedule-wise, it has been killing us. Because Adam works at a large church as a minister, he is gone 3-4 nights a week, and is understandably gone all day on Sundays. Thankfully, he has Fridays off to compensate and rest, but I do not. I get home wasted on Fridays and fall asleep ridiculously early. The first year it was okay, but this year, we have really missed the time together we used to have in the middle of our busy schedule. We are lucky if we have a few hours on a Saturday to relax...other than that we generally end up working 6 or 7-day work weeks. We never get to go out of town to see friends or family (he can't be gone on Sundays and I can't be gone on Fridays, so we never leave), and I have had to step back from my church involvement on Sunday in order to be energized enough for my very physically demanding job as an elementary teacher (Adam is generally gone from 6:30 a.m. to 8 or 9 p.m. on Sundays, and I usually get groceries, do laundry and get ready for the week during that time.) We have also had to turn down singing jobs because I work full-time, and we still desire to pursue a singing/leading worship career on the side.

I love my school. I love the kids. I love everything I do there, and I love everyone I work with (the pics are of me directing our 1st grade program this year). I love my principal--she is an incredible, godly woman who has been at the school for 25 years--and I couldn't imagine a better place to work. But my spirit has felt led to serve alongside my husband, to be an available wife again, so regain some quality of life...

So two weeks ago, I resigned. I officially have 5 days left. Half of me is celebrating, the other half, mourning. I think about all the great stuff we will be able to do now because I won't be pulled somewhere else 40+ hours a week, but I also think about the precious faces of 700 students I have taught (I teach music, so I see all of them!) and how much I will miss hearing their precious voices singing and watching them grow from year to year. I don't have children yet, and these were, well, my kids.

The great news is, whether I am celebrating or mourning, I have a peace. God made this clear, very clear to us over the last 6 months. My husband is ecstatic, and I'm looking forward to seeing him, as well as the rest of our family and friends, more! I will still work part-time, from our home, teaching voice lessons, a few days a week. The rest of the time I will be up at the church planning youth activities or scheduling singing opportunities for us elsewhere. July is already packed with 3 camps, so we are excited about that. We move forward, trusting that God has led us into a new season.

4 comments:

Nicki W. said...

laura,
i am so happy you are confident in your choice. the Lord will fully bless your obedience...just as He always does. what a great time to nuture your marriage. i always say--you who are ministers wives have a very difficult role! who knows what the future holds!

laura said...

Thanks for the encouragement--I needed that today! I just got home after my last day with my kids and am pretty sad, but I know it is the right thing. I'm excited to see what the future holds too!

Katie said...

Laura--I'm so glad that you commented on my blog! I spent some time last night reading all of yours and really enjoyed it! I am always happy to make new "blog friends"!!!

Katie said...
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